A Silly Something on Sun Allergies and Seduction… 

I’m sitting across the pub table

from a much younger looking lad,

I think he’s GCSING but he swears he’s a grad,

I’ve brought him 15 ciders and I’m trying to make him loose,

My mind’s spiraling off, I’m his Aphrodite, he’s my Zeus

I put my hand on his and feel my knickers fizz

He knows the look in my eye,

sparks so luminous they’re impossible to deny


Aren’t they?


As he leans in,

I see years of imprisonment for pedophilia begin

But I couldn’t really care,

his face is so soft and fair,

with its lack of wear and tear


But alas I can feel the itch

within the chambers of my nose

I can feel my eyes squint and close

I try to stop it but simply can’t

mentally I curse the bloody plant

And I’ve sneezed all over his face

and he shouts ‘Jesus Grace’

and as he walks of I shout

NO! Don’t let hay-fever be

the end of you and me

So my advice would be

Don’t let pollen ruin your passion filled night

Get some Piriton and bloody play it right