Soliloquized

london gothic

A drunken ramble I thought I’d stick on here…

Fried Brain

Fried mine

Brain lied

Brain mine

So the beats of the drum

and the

pattering starts

I sweat, regret

and fret.

Like a daffodil, I’m withering,

Frightened,

I sit still.

Disgusted at what gives me a thrill

There’s no peace where I am,

and in me there’s only rushing water,

and no damns.

Animals crying on the riverside,

fearful.

And a disappointed fisherman

Who can’t lift nor raise

his life out of this

Perpetual bad phase

Riddled with doubt

He hopes for a trout

And I hope for a child

Someday

Somehow

Chasing something

Some aim

but pain reigns

and digs deep like Huntley

I could never leave sandcastles

I’d stamp on them whilst claiming to be heir

Fuck! I really need to dye my hair

A cow that needs

Milking

Is transformed into cheese,

can I have the grater please?

You’ve grated me, I’m shredded and torn

But I’ll look positive and not forlorn

Your spreadsheet and jab to prevent flu

Make it hard for me to relate to you

You’re troubled and your ways are lost

I’d join you for a drink but my charms do cost

Your broad beaned face and dimpled chin

reminds me of a night of sin

Meddling with cheese souffle and whiskey

you’re overpaid and I’m just frisky

Rioting without a hat

‘Shut up!’ Tony Blair spat

in my face

mucus of fake tan and lies

There’s a look of comatose in your eyes.

Is that me or is that him?

Either way I’m totally in.

Because remember there’s only one thing you can own,

And that is you: the juicer, job , marriage, phone…

It’s on loan

Whistle something tuneful,

sit in your suit and pretend to be you

Because I can’t. I’m too weary.

My writing is better when I can speak

But vampiric London has made me meek

I wear a sports bra in Soho and always a frown

Looking for a looker but have lost my specs

F*cked the anonymous, listening to T. Rex

But there’s nothing dinosaur about this smile

Yes it’s fierce and only here for a while

But

it hides a larder of festering broken dreams

behind curtains of hope, with fraying seams

I’ll continue as I begun,

As much as I sink, I won’t drown.

See me?

I’m radiant

But off the radar.