Wonder what I’m talking about? Well, wonder on to my favourite ground – the Southbank. The Wonderground (on now) is a festival of cabaret, circus and all sorts. I’m a real fan of all that, so I made some friends accompany me to ‘Limbo’. I’d heard there would be ‘shit loads of limbo’ but was surprised to find there wasn’t any. Yes, there was an extremely bendy man, but no actual limbo. The whole thing was certainly more horror than Hawaii…
It all started with a strong Pimms and a lustful gaze at some gourmet fish and chips. The hotdogs were so expensive, they must have had a coke addiction and a table at Tramp later that night. I just don’t have the dollar for this kind of behavior from fast food – I really hate it when it goes all suave and unobtainable in my face.
We wondered around and if I’m honest, the whole place is quite odd – there are deck chairs, gingham and a few saxophones, but then you suddenly cast your eyes upon a freak who is trying to scout an audience for the show…
My friends and I were given a free ride on the ‘starflyer’, which cowers over this disturbing picnic. You are plonked on a chair and a man lowers a plastic sheet on top of you. On my visit the sun was beaming, which is a nice treat, but it meant I sizzled beneath the plastic. What the hell happened to the good old days? Oh to swing out of rusty old chairs, manned by a gypsy with cloth money bag and cigarette once again…
I dismounted the ride and thought I was going to vom. Pimms should NOT be followed by a stomach churning session on a bloody flying star. We were then ushered into the show, which takes place in a large circus tent with shit loads of booths around the edge. I like booths. They make me feel nostalgic. Nostalgic about a life I never actually lived. I’m big on fake nostalgia. There’s nothing like reminiscing about a place you’ve never been to…
And so to the ‘Limbo’ – There was a strange man with a white beard, who jumped around conducting all sorts of instruments to make an exciting and circussy sound. Then one by one, the performers marched on stage to show their largely tourist audience some extraordinary tricks. One woman casually shoved daggers into her throat, stretchy man did some stretching and was followed by a dude doing some shit with flames. Then there was this one chick. Well, she was just pretty. Our booth couldn’t stop laughing. Here were all these incredible performers risking their lives (or so it would appear to our excitable eyes) and then some pretty chick just wonders about. She kept stomping on and off the stage. What was she so cross about? Had things turned nasty after shagging the bearded man?
There are some impressive acts, but on the whole it is quite soft core. A mildly twisted family affair. It didn’t compare to the freak show where I ended up on stage, stapling playing cards to a midgets chest and somewhere else a bit lower. But that’s another story….
