A VERY dramatic and angry rap about being unemployed
The Dole Goal:
You say the world’s my oyster, I can’t even afford my card,
Your promises of employment leave me at the dole queue scarred
I wish I’d just stuck to Ketamine,
Should’ve ditched philosophy as my amphetamine
Hello! This is the British government, please leave a message after the tone…
And so 3 million of us groan,
I’m living at home, student loan, pay as you go phone..
I was christened with bullsh*t and raised with lies
Oh, you want bbq sauce with your fries?
I sat at school so I can sit here now,
In the job centre
With Kirsty and her mono brow
Let’s educate the nation…
But why exactly and for what?
Jeremy Kyle and an addiction to pot?
And my parents what about them?
Private education and a mortgage later
I’m sure their expectations were greater.
Oh well , at least I’m trained in tea…
Sugar with that? As the bailiffs take our TV
And you expect me to vote so another smug c*nt can laugh at my expense,
Make a stand you say, don’t sit on the fence.
I’m trying to stay positive and look ahead
But my doles supervisors in the way and she’s overfed.
Keep on trying you say, it isn’t me, times are hard.
My degree bleep, my experience bleep, my hobbies bleep
Sorry do you have a Tesco Clubcard?
So I’m afraid politics I’m done with you,
I’m taking my JSA and stocking up on special brew.
Hello! This is the British government, please leave a message after the tone…
And so 3 million of us groan,
I’m living at home, student loan, pay as you go phone..
I was christened with bullsh*t and raised with lies
Oh, you want BBQ sauce with your fries?
I stacked up my CV,
Worked for free,
But a girl needs dollar,
Might find myself a criminal of the purest collar.
Perhaps I’ll smoke smack on the green or crack in Peckham,
Mumble about how I once had a dream and met David Beckham
The options are endless, or so it should appear,
So thank you great Britain for having me here
And thank you to all those years of internships
I can now photocopy
My dole forms
My rehab admission
My criminal record
My death certificate
