GIVE ME AN OYSTER BOAT!

No, not one to collect oysters with…  I despise the texture of oysters. I am actually a remarkably cheap date, considering what a top notch chica I am (ha -not) but considering my family will spend their last pounds on an Itsu box. I surprisingly hate/am not at all bothered by expensive food… sushi, lobster, caviar, foie gras. No thanks – give me a pasta dish any day!

Anyhow, I actually was referring to the card. The oyster card. I only recently discovered that you can travel by touching in and touching out… of a boat!


I love the water. I love the Thames… I often stroll to Hammersmith Bridge and just stare at it. Watching water makes you feel like you can get away and in a city like London you need to feel that every now and then to keep your sanity in shape.

 Just remember you could be that dirty condom floating to Greenwich or that Sprite going to chill with The London Eye and suddenly your worries disappear.  

My sister recently went off on her gap yah. She was meant to go bungee jumping the week before but wimped out at the last minute. I leapt at the chance like a kangaroo on speed and told her best friend I was in. I am a COMPLETE adrenalin junkie.  I would give my left arm to be constantly falling out of a plane.


Anyhow – it was amazing… you reach the top, look over London and feel the bottom of your tummy go. Suddenly they are shouting 1…2…3 and off you jump. (Well you are meant to dive but I went for the jump meaning I got jigged about loads – less pleasant apparently!) You then have that moment, which I imagine the moment before death feels like. COMPLETELY at peace – little stars filled my eyes and as far I was concerned, NOTHING in the world was going on.

 Until I heard laughing… apparently I was trying to hold my foot in a particularly dyspraxic way.

After the jump we wondered up and down the Thames, joined in with some buskers, ate some disgusting dim sum and dressed up in a party banner. Suddenly we spotted an oyster boat so we hopped on. And… I am converted. Wherever I can I am going to get off at embankment and jump on that baby, why bother with the hustle and bustle when you can soar like a flying fish?

There is nothing better than zooming down the Thames at night high on adrenalin…

So, next time the bungee crew are around – do it and then spend some time bonding with the Thames. It may seem a little hostile at first but, like a lot of London, give it some time and it is really rather charming.

And for all those commuters out there – get your face out that armpit and onto the Thames. I reckon your morning Starbucks will taste a lot better if you do.